Regret?

When I am an old woman and I can hardly see
And my limbs are as gnarled as an old oak tree
And naught but my thoughts are left to me
Should I regret the time I spent with thee?

When the tapestry of life has been spun
And sands of time have been outrun
And we feel as if we have just begun
Should I sorrow when our time is done?

When the end has come to us at last
And all of our life is in the past
And all that's left to us is fading fast
Could all that we had be surpassed?

Forever Living, Forever Dying

Forever living, forever dying.
Upon the wings of both I'm flying.
Here forever trapped to be,
Between the mountains and the sea

And somewhere else I do not know.
Somewhere midst the drought and snow.
Or Else in prairie lands so vast.
Perhaps its now, perhaps the past.

I look to see but cannot tell,
Am I in Heaven or in Hell?
Where at last does it stop,
In the Valleys or Mountain top?

Cannot rest, nor drink my fill.
Continuing on, tormented still.
And my soul is forever crying,
Forever living, forever dying.

A Million Things

There are a million things I could have done.

I could have reached and touched the sun.
A million things, and all times two,
All of which, I did not do.

I could have drunk the desert rain.
I could have loved, but feared the pain.
I could have lived a life so free,
unbound, as a bird upon the sea.

A million things, and all times two,
All of which, I did not do.

I might have found the rainbows end.
I might have been a constant friend.
I might have been a beacon bright,
I might have been someone's delight.

A million things, and all times two,
All of which, I did not do.

There are a million things I might have done
Coulds and mights, and did not one.
A million things, and all times two,
All of which, I did not do.

The Search

I left to search this troubled world

Curious what I might see.

I left to see the distant lands

And set my dreaming free.

I walked along the empty roads

And pathways through the woods.

And crowded cities thick with life

And spots where no ones stood.

(I cannot walk this road again

I cannot sing this song.

I cannot feel you next to me

Now that you are gone.)

I've seen the rising of the sun

As red as blood could be.

And I've seen the brightest moon

Glowing on the sea.

Misty mountains filled my view

And deserts bare and dry.

I've yet to see the ocean depths

Or touch the evening sky.

(I cannot walk this road again

I cannot sing this song.

I cannot feel you next to me

Now that you are gone.)

I've walked atop the glaciers
And through the midnight caves.
I've seen the birth of new life
And old men in their graves.

I've seen a miracle
But doubted all I knew.
I never found a heaven on earth
But I did find you.

(I cannot walk this road again

I cannot sing this song.

I cannot feel you next to me

Now that you are gone.)

I don't need a home

to say I'm coming back.

with all the wandering I've done

I've not found the thing I lack.

Of all the steps I've taken

I thought that I might find.

Some sweet escape, a last relief

to ease my troubled mind.

(I cannot walk this road again

I cannot sing this song.

I cannot feel you next to me

Now that you are gone.)

Dance with Me

"Where are we going?" I asked and stumbled just slightly. It was just me and Chris tonight. Dianne had stayed home.

"You'll see," He said and I felt his arm tense as he steadied me. I could faintly smell his unique scent on the whisper of wind that passed us by.

"Or rather I won't," I teased him right back. My hand was wrapped around his bicep and his other hand was covering mine.

"Don't worry, I won't keep you in the dark for long," I could hear him smiling at the banter.

"Seriously Chris, where are we going?" I asked as we walked down the street. I was comfortable with him leading me now, though most of the time Dianne was with us too. Chris had said that where we were going Dianne wouldn't be very comfortable.

Chris laughed at my impatient tone and I shot a glare at him that was pretty ineffectual. I could tell because he laughed again. "We'll be there soon Miss Impatient."

"Can you at least give me a hint?" I begged.

"Oh no," Chris said and patted my hand, "any hint I would offer would give it away. You're just way to cleaver for your own good."

We walked along in silence for a few minutes when Chris said, "you know you're cute when you pout, but that's not going to get me to tell you where we are going, besides, you'll know soon enough."

I laughed and leaned into him, letting my head rest on his shoulder for the briefest of moments.

After walking a few more minutes I could hear something on the wind, the faintest strains of music.

"Are we going to a concert?" I asked. I could feel his gaze turn towards my face.

"Not quite," he said and steered us closer to the music. At the moment it was a nice piece of west coast swing. I could feel the difference in the air when we entered a building and the music was much louder.

"There is a chair to your five o'clock," Chris said and steered me towards it. I sat down and listened to the music for a moment.

"This is nice music Chris, but why are we here?" I asked. I was dying to know what he had planned.

"Just sit still a moment," Chris said. I could hear him rustling close by and a couple of faint clicks, and I jumped horribly when I felt him touch my foot.

"What are you doing?" I asked and pulled my foot away from him.

"Changing your shoes," he said in a matter of fact tone.

"And why are you doing that?" I asked, I was really confused now, but allowed him to switch out my shoes. I could tell that they were low heels, strapped, but sturdy.

"Remember a few days ago when we were at that little cafe and that song came on?" Chris said. He had finished with one foot and started on my other.

"Yeah, What about it?" I asked. I was beginning to get an idea of where this was all going and I almost wanted to cry from the sweetness of Chris's gesture.

"You said that you missed dancing. You missed the Cha-Cha, and the Samba, Foxtrot, and the Waltz." he said as he finished with my other foot, "So I thought you would like to go dancing again," as he finished he sounded as if he were unsure. I could feel him still crouched down in front of me and I felt the warmth and pressure as he places his hands lightly on my knees. "That is, if you want to," he said, "we can do something else if you would rather."

I couldn't resist leaning forward and wrapping my arms around his neck in a tight embrace. "Thank you," I whispered against his cheek. I leaned back and he stood up, holding on to both of my hands and lead me towards the dance floor.

As a new song flooded the room my left hand slid up his arm to rest just above his bicep and I held out my left for him to grasp. I felt his other hand on my shoulder blade and he said, "you ready?"

I nodded and he lead me with sure movements into a flowing waltz.

How Did You Know?

"I don't think I can concentrate a moment longer," I growled, pushing myself away from the table and standing up. I wished I could go for a run, but being blind made that an impossibility now. Restlessly I paced back and forth, trying to clear my thoughts. I could almost feel Dianna's eyes following my movements.

Maybe a short walk will help I told myself and I reached for my jacket. the fall weather was getting cooler by the day, and I could literally hear the leaves being shed by the massive trees around my house and around the campus. If I concentrated enough I could hear them drifting through the air and settle with a faint scrape on the sidewalk.

Dianna matched my pace as we headed towards the center of the town. I could smell wood smoke from a few houses. gradually a new, yet familiar scent mixed with the smell of burning wood.

"Hi Chris," I said and turned my head slightly and pausing in my walk.

"How did you know I was here?" Chris asked clearly puzzled.

"I could smell your cologne." I smirked at his silence.

"Is it to much?" he asked, and he brushed my arm just above the elbow to let me know where he was.

"Actually it smells very nice. Sandalwood?" I asked.

Chris laughed, "Yeah."

I grinned in his direction, "But it's not just Sandalwood," I went on, "several men wear sandalwood. There is something else there that makes your scent you." I paused to consider what it was. I could feel my brow furrowing in thought. I couldn't quite grasp it.

Blushing, I turned towards Chris, "would you mind terribly if I gave you a hug?"

The surprised silence lasted a moment or two before I felt myself drawn forward into a gentle embrace. I tucked my head into the curve of his neck and my arms went around his chest.

Inhaling deeply, the most prominent scent was that of sandalwood, just as I knew it would be. I could also smell leather, that had to be his jacket, and something spicy like an echo of cinnamon. I could also smell lavender, but only a suggestion of it, as if his clothes were washed in it, and the faintest trace of sweat as if he had worked out earlier in the day.

I took in his scent one more time before loosening my embrace and stepping back. I could feel my face heating up. I knew he was staring at me expectantly.

"Well?" he asked. I could hear a grin in his voice.

I blushed again. "Sandalwood, leather, cinnamon, lavender, and," I hesitated.

"And," he prompted. I felt his fingers brush a lock of hair out of my face.

"And a little bit of sweat," I mumbled quickly.

"I'm sorry," Chris laughed out loud, "I missed that."

"Nothing," I muttered and clicked my tongue at Dianna, signaling her that I was ready to walk. I could feel my face practically glowing with embarrassment. I can't believe I did that I thought to myself.

"Wait," Chris called and I could hear him hurrying to catch up to me. "Wait, Sarah. Don't go." I felt a slight pressure on my arm again, letting me know he was right there.

"I'm sorry Chris," I said and I slowed my pace.

"For what?" Chris asked.

Actually I wasn't sure what I was sorry about, only that I was embarrassed.

"Look," Chris said, and gently pulled me to a stop, "if I promise not to laugh will you tell me what else you could smell? I'm rather curious."

I bit my lip, debating on weather it would offend him or not. Finally I felt myself sigh in resignation, "I could smell sweat," I said. "But only a faint trace, as if you had worked out earlier today or yesterday," I added quickly.

"Hm," Chris hummed thoughtfully, "you know you are right," he said. "I worked out late last night."

"I didn't mean it in a bad way," I said, trying to get him to understand, "I like the way you smell."

"And I like the way you smell too," Chris said, and I could hear him grinning again.

I smiled in his direction and clicked to Dianna and the three of us moved on.

Hearing

I would hear as you hear,
See it through your eyes.
I would feel as you do
And win myself the prize.

I cannot hear as you do
You hear me not at all.
I would beckon to your heart
If you would but heed my call.

Fain, I would lose the sounds
That come by night and day.
And never more hear bird or song
If with you I could stay.

Hidden Love by Sara Teasdale

I hid the love within my heart,
And lit the laughter in my eyes,
That when we meet he may not know
My love that never dies.

But sometimes when he dreams at night
Of fragrant forests green and dim,
It may be that my love crept out
And brought the dream to him.

And sometimes when his heart is sick
And suddenly grows well again,
It may be that my love was there
To free his life of pain.

Dance

We dance across the moonlit floor;
Our arms, hands, and bodies one.
I follow in the path you trace,
You show me how it's done.

I smile at every misplaced step.
Patiently you lead me round.
Though I can feel the earth below,
My steps have left the ground.

Elixir

When I ponder on the days I had
I know not what to think.
Your love was an elixir
That I would deeply drink.

Oh, I knew not what that potion was.
Truth, or lust, or lies?
All I know is from that cup
My heart grew sad but wise.

Bloom

I loved you then, when year was young,
And all was green and new.

I loved you still, as days were long,
And nights were brief and few.

I continued to love you in the chill
Of winters darkest gloom.

But when the spring had come again;
My love, it did not bloom.

Where are you now?

I could feel the sunshine's warmth
From your golden smile
I could breathe the clearest air
I Could walk with you for miles

Where are you now?

Your tender arms surround me
Kept me safe all through the night
And when the dawn awoke me
You were always in my sight

Where are you now?

Your kisses breathed life into my soul,
Taught me how to live.
Everything I had was yours
All that I could give.

Where are you now?

Eagerly

Eagerly I sought your eyes
To tell me of your soul
I had a wish that you might see
My heart that you had stole.

Eagerly I met your gaze
but saw no spark within.
The coolness of your look was pain,
Though your touch burned upon my skin.

I closed my eyes to shield my heart
From glancing I refrain
I put it all to a restful death;
I dare not look again.

Wishes

Wishes are a way to think
Of things that could not be
They bring a smile to your lips
And set your dreaming free.

Wishes are a lot of fun
Although they don't come true.
The sparkle in the morning sun
And fade like morning dew

Birds

Time is forgotten,
when roses bloom in spring.
Tiny birds return again
and teach my heart to sing.

A simple tune of life's new growth
thaws my frozen heart
Help me to forget him birds
and give my life a start.

I don't remember

I don't remember anymore
How once your eyes met mine
I don't remember how it felt
Your fingers with mine entwined

I don't remember exactly how
Your touch burned upon my skin
I cant even recall now
Where it all begins

I have forgotten most words
That you had said to me
All I do remember
Is when I set you free

Shells of Autumn

Drifting autumn leaves are now
Shells of what was young
Summer dies along times way
Winter still unsung

Barren limbs reach for the sky
Silent cold and gray
Twitching in the winter winds
Gone are days of may

Wind replaces song birds call
Whistling sharp and shrill
Keening to the moonless night
Echo winters chill

Did Not, Would Not

I did not heed you when you called
I did not stop to know
All the words you could say to me
As the winds of winter blow

I would not stop touch your hand,
I said my last goodbyes
I could not let you see my tears
I will not let you see me die.

Tears, Idle Tears

Tears, idle tears, I know not what they mean,
Tears from the depth of some divine despair
Rise in the heart, and gather to the eyes,
In looking on the happy autumn-fields,
And thinking of the days that are no more.

Fresh as the first beam glittering on a sail,
That brings our friends up from the underworld,
Sad as the last which reddens over one
That sinks with all we love below the verge;
So sad, so fresh, the days that are no more.

Ah, sad and strange as in dark summer dawns
The earliest pipe of half-awakened birds
To dying ears, when unto dying eyes
The casement slowly grows a glimmering square;
So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.

Dear as remembered kisses after death,
And sweet as those by hopeless fancy feigned
On lips that are for others; deep as love,
Deep as first love, and wild with all regret;
O Death in Life, the days that are no more!

By Lord Alfred Tennyson

Ode

Ode
by Arthur O’Shaughnessy [1844-1881]

We are the music-makers,
And we are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers,
And sitting by desolate streams;
World-losers and world-forsakers,
On whom the pale moon gleams:
Yet we are the movers and shakers
Of the world for ever, it seems

With wonderful deathless ditties
We build up the world’s great cities.
And out of a fabulous story
We fashion art empire’s glory:
One man with a dream, at pleasure,
Shall go forth and conquer a crown;
And three with a new song’s measure
Can trample in empire down.

We, in the ages lying
In the buried past of the earth.
Built Nineveh with our sighing,
And Babel itself with our mirth;
And o’erthrew them with prophesying
To the old of the new world’s worth;
For each age is a dream that is dying,
Or one that is coming to birth.