I stand on the edge of the abyss; staring off into the blackness of the night and the darkness of my own soul. I can not see the future and the past is lost in the mists of time.
Shadows and dreams swirl around me; morphing and twisting, first beautiful then horrifying, tantalizing and repellent. I raise my hand to touch the future and there is nothing there, nothing to feel. I look in vain for anything to latch onto, anything to save me.
One wrong step and I fall to the enticing darkness; yet a shift the the right brings bliss; a dance along the razor edge of life. Is the price to high to pay for such darkness, or can I attain that promised joy?
(Random I know. This is just what flowed from my mind to the keyboard)
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Start At The Beginning
He was pink and wrinkled as most new born are. Frail and tiny with a healthy set of lungs which he gave vent to in full volume, but it was a beautiful cry, not the mewling whine of many others. After a moment he calmed down.
He was placed his mother's weak arms his eyes wide, a sharp, intelligent gaze. Dark cobalt eyes seemed to absorb everything around him. Tiny fingers grasped at the air, and his mouth worked on nothing.
"...So handsome..."
The doctors were not sure if she would make it. They had brought her in from a car wreck, two others had died.
A nurse approached with a clipboard and started asking questions. "The name?"
The woman's dark hair was in her eyes, matted to her head with the effort of bringing her son into the world. "David." She smiled gently and held her son close.
"You will do great things David, You will be a great man."
He was placed his mother's weak arms his eyes wide, a sharp, intelligent gaze. Dark cobalt eyes seemed to absorb everything around him. Tiny fingers grasped at the air, and his mouth worked on nothing.
"...So handsome..."
The doctors were not sure if she would make it. They had brought her in from a car wreck, two others had died.
A nurse approached with a clipboard and started asking questions. "The name?"
The woman's dark hair was in her eyes, matted to her head with the effort of bringing her son into the world. "David." She smiled gently and held her son close.
"You will do great things David, You will be a great man."
Why Do You Do It
David was not sure what to make of the man behind the wheel of his car. He had stopped him, told him to follow where he lead, and he would have his revenge and make the world better.
He was not sure if he should fear this man. That he could kill David without a thought he knew without a doubt, some instinct told him this. But the same instinct told him that he would not kill him, that he had plans for him. After a long silence, the street lights flashing on the slick windshield, David finally asked, "What would you ask of me? What would you have me do?"
The man spared a glance at the teenager in the passenger seat, not speaking at first. He looked so young, so innocent, excpt for his eyes. His eyes were blank, no inner light was there anymore.
"I would have you become one of us. I ask that you follow my lead to whatever end."
"Who is us?" David sounded only mildly curious, as if asking were a reflex rather than a true desire to know.
"In time you will know. I am asking you to give up your old life, all your connections, all your past. I am asking you to become what we need you to be."
"And what is that?" The same resigned voice asked.
"Mercenary, thief, commander, anything that we need."
David shrugged. "I have nothing left, no reason to stay. I guess I might as well go with you." David looked at the man, the first glimmer of life sparking in his deadpan face. "Did you give up who you were? Why do you do it? If I do well what happens?"
The man smiled, "all information in its time. As you see yourself, I once saw myself; as you see me now, you will be seen."
David settled back on the seat, thinking over what he had been told. He would become like this man. Strong, capable, someone people could look up to.
He was not sure if he should fear this man. That he could kill David without a thought he knew without a doubt, some instinct told him this. But the same instinct told him that he would not kill him, that he had plans for him. After a long silence, the street lights flashing on the slick windshield, David finally asked, "What would you ask of me? What would you have me do?"
The man spared a glance at the teenager in the passenger seat, not speaking at first. He looked so young, so innocent, excpt for his eyes. His eyes were blank, no inner light was there anymore.
"I would have you become one of us. I ask that you follow my lead to whatever end."
"Who is us?" David sounded only mildly curious, as if asking were a reflex rather than a true desire to know.
"In time you will know. I am asking you to give up your old life, all your connections, all your past. I am asking you to become what we need you to be."
"And what is that?" The same resigned voice asked.
"Mercenary, thief, commander, anything that we need."
David shrugged. "I have nothing left, no reason to stay. I guess I might as well go with you." David looked at the man, the first glimmer of life sparking in his deadpan face. "Did you give up who you were? Why do you do it? If I do well what happens?"
The man smiled, "all information in its time. As you see yourself, I once saw myself; as you see me now, you will be seen."
David settled back on the seat, thinking over what he had been told. He would become like this man. Strong, capable, someone people could look up to.
The Beginning
In the gathering darkness David loaded his gun, readying it for action. He was tired of letting the injustice in the world exist. Tired of the innocent falling to the evil. A face flashed in his mind, the greatest injustice of all.
David stepped out of his car into the rain. They would pay for what they had done.
"Wait son." A voice said out of the night.
David spun around, trying to see who the voice belonged to, bringing his gun up.
"Who are you?" David yelled.
"A man who will show you a different path. A path that will make a difference in the world." The shadow of the man was wrapped in a long coat and a wide brimmed hat pulled low.
"I don't need a path! I don't need to save the world! I need vengeance!" Tears rolled down his face, David was incensed, his prey was going to get away. He was young, his hand shaking on the gun.
"You will get that too, but it would be a sad waste for you to die tonight, as I know that you would. Do you think that his men will let you live? You think that you will even get close to him? You will die, and then who will avenge her, or you for that matter?" The man remained calm.
"I have nothing. Nothing left. They took everything from me. At this point I don't even care if I live or die."
The man smiled, "Beware of him who has nothing to lose." The man took a step towards the teenager. "Come with me David."
David dropped the gun to his side. "Who are you?" he sounded resigned, lifeless.
"I will be your Captain." The man took the gun from David and lead him to the car.
David stepped out of his car into the rain. They would pay for what they had done.
"Wait son." A voice said out of the night.
David spun around, trying to see who the voice belonged to, bringing his gun up.
"Who are you?" David yelled.
"A man who will show you a different path. A path that will make a difference in the world." The shadow of the man was wrapped in a long coat and a wide brimmed hat pulled low.
"I don't need a path! I don't need to save the world! I need vengeance!" Tears rolled down his face, David was incensed, his prey was going to get away. He was young, his hand shaking on the gun.
"You will get that too, but it would be a sad waste for you to die tonight, as I know that you would. Do you think that his men will let you live? You think that you will even get close to him? You will die, and then who will avenge her, or you for that matter?" The man remained calm.
"I have nothing. Nothing left. They took everything from me. At this point I don't even care if I live or die."
The man smiled, "Beware of him who has nothing to lose." The man took a step towards the teenager. "Come with me David."
David dropped the gun to his side. "Who are you?" he sounded resigned, lifeless.
"I will be your Captain." The man took the gun from David and lead him to the car.
Wolves
"I don't know if I can do this." Steve looked a little sick.
David looked up at the younger man from his place in his bunk. "They showed you torture methods today didn't they." David knew that expression. He had worn a similar one when he had been recruited.
Steve swallowed back a little bile and nodded.
David sat up and patted the bed next to him, inviting the new recruit to sit with him. "Tell me Steve, why did you sign up for this? Why did you decide on this course for your life? There were many other paths you could have chosen."
Steve looked down at his calloused hands that were in his lap, flexing them. "I guess I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to know that I was doing something to keep my family safe." Steve twitched his shaggy hair out of his face. His commander had not required him to cut it yet. "I just don't know how I can do this."
David searched for the words that would help his friend. "It becomes easier over time. You just get used to it. After all, he who goes with wolves learns to howl."
David looked up at the younger man from his place in his bunk. "They showed you torture methods today didn't they." David knew that expression. He had worn a similar one when he had been recruited.
Steve swallowed back a little bile and nodded.
David sat up and patted the bed next to him, inviting the new recruit to sit with him. "Tell me Steve, why did you sign up for this? Why did you decide on this course for your life? There were many other paths you could have chosen."
Steve looked down at his calloused hands that were in his lap, flexing them. "I guess I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to know that I was doing something to keep my family safe." Steve twitched his shaggy hair out of his face. His commander had not required him to cut it yet. "I just don't know how I can do this."
David searched for the words that would help his friend. "It becomes easier over time. You just get used to it. After all, he who goes with wolves learns to howl."
How Many Times
David snapped off a shot before there was even time to think. The projectile flew true, striking the man in the chest, throwing him backwards.
"Again." David said.
Joe rolled to his feet. "Come on boss. Don't you think you have it down. I mean I have never known anybody that can do what you do. Who taught you after all? My father first taught me, but he never would have thought I would come this far. How many more times are you going to shoot me?"
"As many times as it takes."
"To do what."
To feel it."
"Why."
"Instinct is stronger than upbringing."
"Again." David said.
Joe rolled to his feet. "Come on boss. Don't you think you have it down. I mean I have never known anybody that can do what you do. Who taught you after all? My father first taught me, but he never would have thought I would come this far. How many more times are you going to shoot me?"
"As many times as it takes."
"To do what."
To feel it."
"Why."
"Instinct is stronger than upbringing."
Never Did
"I love you."
"You do?"
"Yes."
~~~~~~
"You lied to him."
She nodded, "better a lie which heals than a truth which wounds." She shook her head. "A kind deed for all the pain I have caused is not so much to give. I caused his pain. He needs to heal. This will help him, and when I go, he will never know that I never love him."
"You do?"
"Yes."
~~~~~~
"You lied to him."
She nodded, "better a lie which heals than a truth which wounds." She shook her head. "A kind deed for all the pain I have caused is not so much to give. I caused his pain. He needs to heal. This will help him, and when I go, he will never know that I never love him."
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