Desperation

Joe stood in his brothers hospital room, watching as the machines kept him alive. He blinked, long and slow, trying to rally his thoughts, emotions. It was the last time that he would see his brother in some semblance of life. Joe could feel his eyes tearing up again; red and sandy raw from all the tears already shed, and the sleepless nights.

Jen hovered in the background, anxious for Joe, she had come to care for him in the short time that Alec had been in her care. The decision to take Alec off of life support had been made, and she wanted to be there for him, to offer what comfort she could. She knew that she should keep the professional distance. She knew that she was too involved, that she would end up being hurt and most likely hurting Joe as well, but she couldn't help it. She couldn't stop herself from feeling and from caring.

Joe had told her that he wanted to be there when it happened, that he would feel more closure that way.

"Are you ready Joe?" Jen asked.

Joe nodded mutely as tears tracked down his face and his body shuddered with repressed sobs. The air machine stopped hissing, and they could hear Alec's heartbeat slow, then flat line. Jen finally reached out and turned off the heart monitor, trying to swallow back tears.

Turning, Jen found herself in Joe's arms.

Joe wrapped his long arms around Jen, holding her tight against his body as he buried his face in her neck. He felt Jen rubbing his back and murmuring nonsense comfort words. He felt like his heart was being torn in two. Without thinking, Joe sought out Jen's lips, crushing them beneath his own, desperate to feel something beside the pain in his heart.

Jen, for a few brief moments allowed herself to be unthinking, to just react as Joe's tongue moved against hers, twining, desperate, and urgent.

Jen began to pull back as her professional self began to reassert itself.

Joe opened his eyes, but didn't release Jen, "please," he begged, and Jen could see the raw pain in his eyes.

Jen knew that she would perhaps regret her actions later, but she didn't care at the moment. She twined her arms closer around Joe, and welcomed him in.